-lance has, on more than one occasion, hummed the star wars theme song with shiro’s dick in his mouth, and shiro has cum with tears streaming down his face bc his boyfriend is a dork
-they’ve tried out many kinks that had them laughing too hard to continue, including
lance wearing lingerie (he tried wearing a bra and it looked ridiculous)
rope bondage (somehow lance got his leg tied to shiro’s hand?? they’re trying again one day after more research)
daddy kink (lance wouldn’t stop moaning “aye papi” and then laughing)
-one time lance wore a vibrating butt plug in public and shiro turned it on every time he talked so he squeaked
lance made him wear it the next time and got his revenge, but shiro’s voice got breathy and it turned lance on too much and they had a quicky inside a bathroom
-they’ve fucked in the blue lion but she spent the whole time talking to lance and providing a running commentary
-one time lance was in a twitter argument and rode shiro while tweeting the whole time
turns out he was fighting with keith
-shiro had a timer set so he could check a game on his phone and it went off while he was blowing lance and just pulled his phone out and played the game with lance’s dick in his mouth
-shiro once made sandwiches for him and lance and they ate them while shiro sat on lance’s dick
-one time shiro fucked lance against a door but they accidentally broke the door
-”hey shiro?” “yeah” “i dont think this position is going to work.” “???” “it’s a little too hard” “are you calling my dick little?”
-one time shiro found lance sprawled naked on top of the black lion’s head and was just like “why”
it was actually the black lion’s idea
-one time lance spent an entire round discussing the pros and cons of capitalism and communism and what he would do if he was in zarkon’s place
-one time shiro and lance were wrestling for practice but it escalated and somehow lance lost his pants. keith walked in on them and ran out screaming. that was the best day of lance’s life.
-lance tried to bring in chocolate sauce one time but it was a mess and shiro couldn’t stop laughing at lance with a streak of chocolate on his nose
-Shiro does push-ups and sucks lance’s dick while he does it because lance said he couldn’t (@bowserlettuce)
-Keith bitching in the common room that Lance is being annoying again and being overly flirty with Shiro and Lance makes a put upon sigh and drags Shiro up from where he sits on the other’s lap. Shiro’s like wtf is going on and Lance gives a solemn ‘Shiro, you heard Mullet. I need your help so I can have a stick up my ass like him.’ (@epicboners)
Okay, so Altean women are confirmed to be like super strong. So imagine that Honerva/Haggar is able to man-handle Zarkon and he is incredibly turned on